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unhappiness follows me like the plague

dodge me, avoid me, or you’ll be infected too

- "what do i feel?
  nearly everything,
  everything all at once
  weighing on my shoulders,
  yes.
  everything all at once.
  i woke up happy,
  saw that someone passed away,
  so i cried.
  i didn’t know her.
  but i cried.
  i saw her friends,
  her lover,
  all of them honoring her,
  so i cried.
  crying felt nice.
  so i tried to write something
  while andrew belle crooned a tune
  and i couldn’t
  i was so angry.
  but not angry,
  not really.
  just exhausted.
  this is me.
  so i stared into a mirror
  fifteen, maybe twenty minutes
  someone should fuck me
  remind me i’m human
  remind me that i can connect
  to other humans.
  but am i pretty enough?
  not so much, no.
  will anyone love me?
  i hope i love me.
  so i cried.
  again.
  i listened to some sad songs.
  felt guilty for being sad.
  wished that i was art,
  that my world was art,
  and that my existence could be
  art.
  i feel empty,
  but not hollow.
  give me something to feel.
  other than this.
  i can’t make much out of this."
- April 10, 2017 – 2353 notes / April 10, 2017
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